Seventy-eight, 79, Eighty, Eighty-one, Eighty-two

Nothing to report except that I'm unusually emotional. I watched Extreme Home Makeover the other night and was basically a wreck. All I needed was that commercial with the kid talking to his grandpa on the phone ("Grandpa, I'm not in Paris... I'm in Dieppe") and it would have been the end of me.

The other symptoms are still going strong, but nothing worth worrying about. I plan on sticking at 5mg for this week and the next 2 after that, then nothing. I'm looking forward to it.

On a side note, here are a few things I think my wife has an unhealthy obsession for:

1. Shoes
2. Children's Clothes
3. Broth (both chicken and beef)

Seventy-two to Seventy-seven (including 73)

It's been about a week at 5mg now and everything is pretty much as expected. Much like NASCAR though people don't watch (or in this case, read) unless there's a wreck. I'm sorry everything's going so well and don't have any horror stories to report. I do however have a short list of withdrawl symptoms and their relative annoyance (on a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is "barely noticeable" and 10 is "I'm going insane"):

• Irritability (8)
• Insomnia (6)
• Memory Loss / Forgetfulness (8)

The interesting part about that last one is that I hadn't really noticed it until recently. At least once a day I find myself just standing seemingly in the middle of nowhere wondering what the hell I was doing. The other day I actually had to call out to my wife and ask her why I went into the kitchen (apparently it was to get a wash cloth for the baby). Toady I was actually standing with the foil from the top of a wine bottle in my hand and I picked up a tin to read the label for whatever reason. After I put the tin down I turned to Jodi and asked her what I was just doing. The wine bottle was right in front of me ready to be opened!! Maybe I should have rated that last one a 9.

Sixty-nine, Seventy, 71

Started 5mg 3 days ago.

So far you can add poor sleep to the short fuse as the side effects of the reduced dose.

Actually, as it was with 15mg the biggest pain in the ass is trying to chop up a 20mg pill into 4 pieces. We lose more good pills that way... good thing I've got a decent prescription volume.

Fifty-seven to Sixty-eight (including 59, 61 & 67)

So (knock on wood) the baby appears to be sleeping with some sort of consistency. There was a brief lapse last week but we're all OK now.

I am still at 10mg and can see only the short fuse as a notable side effect. I didn't go down to 5mg as I wasn't sleeping and then I got sick.

I feel fine now and tomorrow morning I'm going down to 5mg. First time in over 7 years at a dose less than 10mg. We'll see....

Fourty-four to Fifty-six (including 47 and 53)

It's been a while, so let's recap:

Holidays went well even though Alex didn't sleep through the night once.
Christmas was entirely too excessive.
The detox is going just fine.

I did have one night over the holidays that I can only describe as "a moment of heightened anxiety". I awoke from a pretty good sleep to a screaming baby and after getting him settled I couldn't get back to sleep. Had I been drinking or more tired it most certainly would have resulted in a full-blown panic attack but as it was I was just uncomfortable and, for lack of a better word, uncertain. It lasted about 10 minutes and then I fell asleep.

Aside from that the only side effect I seem to be experiencing is a considerably short fuse. I've never been the most patient man in the world (thanks for that lovely genetic gift dad!) but I am surprised at how easily I get frustrated now. Apparently I'm supposed to breathe.

I'm dropping down to 5mg this weekend - probably Friday morning.